00:30-00:34 When I look at what's around me, feel like there's a reason for my existence 00:35-00:38 there's a reason great things happen to me 00:39-00:41 even when I feel like I don't deserve them 00:42-00:44 I don't necessarily know that reason 00:44-00:45 I don't even try to overanalyse it 00:46-00:48 to know if it's a person or a thing... 00:49-00:51 simply for me, that reason... 00:52-00:53 is my perception of God. 00:54-00:54 -what is that reason though? 00:55-00:56 Let me rephrase here... 00:57-00:58 The God I'm talking abut is the creator. 00:59-01:00 The creator. 01:01-01:02 Let me tell you why 01:03-01:07 assuming that everything around us was created 01:08-01:09 which means there is a creator behind it 01:11-01:11 that creator is God. 01:12-01:12 and I believe in him 01:13-01:13 and another thing is... 01:14-01:15 the God inside me... 01:16-01:18 I feel it by an inner voice... 01:19-01:21 that leads me in everything I do. 01:20-01:21 - What! 01:21-01:23 preventing me from wrong doing or... 01:22-01:23 -That's not God. 01:24-01:26 for me that's God. 01:27-01:28 voices? 01:29-01:31 from the little I know, 01:32-01:35 I can not put an etiquette on myself 01:36-01:39 I don't have much knowledge of the bible itself 01:40-01:42 I came into this life. 01:43-01:44 without any instruction manual 01:45-01:47 and I managed... 01:50-01:52 If there's another life after this one, 01:53-01:58 why do I need to stress myself preparing for it 01:59-02:00 when I lie I'm conscient of it. 02:00-02:02 when I steal something I know it's wrong 02:03-02:07 I don't need a supreme being to be aware of that 02:08-02:10 It's in my nature. 02:12-02:13 That's my point. 02:14-02:15 I don't know of anything else. 02:16-02:17 If there's heaven... 02:18-02:18 if there's an afterlife... 02:19-02:20 I will manage... 02:21-02:21 I will figure out when I get there... 02:22-02:23 Eric used to say that... 02:25-02:27 that he believed in the God of Rwanda 02:28-02:29 a kind of God... 02:31-02:34 a human being can not easily offend. 07:14-07:15 I'm Ingangare on the battlefield 07:16-07:17 a ruthless warrior 07:22-07:24 I'm the reluctant sanctified one. 07:28-07:30 I worship no regime, I praise life. 07:31-07:34 the earth belongs to nobody we are all the common people 07:35-07:37 when I open my mouth the truth flows 07:38-07:39 a smile flooding of pearls. 07:46-07:49 I'm a stain a politician's shirt. 07:51-07:54 I'm the sweat of the destitute man. 07:55-07:57 I don't smell prosperity. 07:58-08:00 I'm the aura of the unprosperous. 08:04-08:07 I'm the blind man's eye. 08:12-08:14 and the wisdom of the miserable. 08:21-08:22 that's all. 09:29-09:31 wait for a moment. 09:33-09:37 I did talk to his sister... 09:39-09:42 she told me that the family will travel and arrive early tomorrow 09:45-09:51 I thought I told you that Eric didn't wish to have a cross on his coffin. 09:54-09:56 Eric comes from a christian family 09:58-10:02 I just wanted to avoid any discontent. 10:04-10:05 It's my way of respecting the family. 10:06-10:08 that's all. 10:54-10:56 even though I was not very close to Eric, 10:58-11:00 what I got from him is... 11:03-11:07 is how he thought that he might have come from some places. 11:08-11:09 which he doesn't recall. 11:10-11:12 and then he became the person he was-- 11:13-11:16 and after he will go in some other places and become something else. 11:19-11:19 yeahÉ 11:21-11:25 like right now I could be smoking my ancestors... 11:27-11:28 in the form of herbs... 11:29-11:31 like when someone dies and gets buried-- 11:32-11:35 --he didn't even wish to be buried in a cemented grave and everything... 11:36-11:39 he just wanted to be buried in pure soil, so that he can transform. 11:40-11:44 ...into fertilisers, and then the grass will grow from it. 11:46-11:47 and bring harmony. 11:49-11:51 so, I wrote something about him. 11:53-11:53 my perception of him. 11:54-11:57 by putting myself in his shoes 11:58-12:02 like if I would really be him. 12:08-12:12 survival is the mother of superpowers. 12:14-12:15 I emulate caterpillars... 12:20-12:22 no, let me start over. 12:23-12:26 survival is the mother of superpowers. 12:27-12:29 I emulate chameleons, caterpillars and flowers. 12:30-12:32 meditate for millions we are not for fews hours. 12:33-12:35 I write gentle letters to myself with vowels. 12:36-12:39 and let the truth hum in my room. 12:41-12:42 I've travelled in the wings of time. 12:44-12:45 I've walked through fire. 12:48-12:49 and on water. 12:58-12:58 my body knows a few tricks of the mind. 16:41-16:42 I have one nephew. 16:43-16:45 he's five years old. 16:46-16:50 he is in nursery school but he is already bigger than the rest of the kids in his class. 16:51-16:57 at home each time his father has a beer, he gives him a sip. 16:58-17:00 and tells him: have a sip my son, you need to man up. 17:02-17:03 one day an uncle went to visit them... 17:04-17:08 and the nephew neared and told him: uncle, give me a sip so that I man up. 17:10-17:13 he didn't have limits no more and couldn't resist the habit. 17:14-17:15 kids... 17:29-17:30 it's like Eric. 17:33-17:34 he was also like a kid 17:36-17:38 he couldn't restrain himself. 17:40-17:42 and he would never compromise. 19:13-19:17 he wrote about death as you would write about ...love 19:19-19:22 he had this idea that he was like a butterfly. 19:23-19:27 he identified with its transformation from caterpillar and getting wings, 19:28-19:32 he thought death was the same: 19:33-19:34 it's getting wings and flying away. 19:35-19:39 he believed he was not going to live beyond 27 years. 19:41-19:44 the same like his father... 19:33-19:34 and elder brother. 19:45-19:47 he believed he was not going to live beyond 27 years. 19:48-19:51 sometimes he would write about love for fun. 19:52-19:53 I remember one line he wrote: 19:54-19:59 baby, if you give me your love i will eat it like an alligator. 20:06-20:11 we use to go for a walk on top of mount Kigali, 20:12-20:16 I had planned to go with him there when he leaves the hospital. 20:17-20:20 because I had a book I wanted to read for him. 20:21-20:23 when you visited him as friends... 20:24-20:28 one of the first thing he offered you was harmony. 20:29-20:31 you would share moments of silence. 20:32-20:35 and enjoy it as something good.