Why are we decaying?
A piece of us dreams and does
or does not think of itself
and another dreams and migrate from itself
another piece dreams and sleeps without worry
and another dreams
and dies alone
I was going to write in the classical language
but I thought I would get lost in thought
that doesn’t represent me
I’ll talk
and you punctuate the commandments if you want to
Where are you? Why won’t you pick up?
“Abo Jabber” how are you?
“Um Jabber” the magnificent bless your heart
and your prayers that is making everything a breeze for me
tomorrow is my “Conservatoire” graduation party
Regarding the nationality, it’s supposed to be ready in a couple of days
I’ll try and get it ready by Mother’s Day
so you would find me and “Irina"
and the little “Ragheb” knocking on your door
I missed you so much
and I miss our house and your cooking “Um Jabber”
and your “Makdoos” and everything about Damascus
Take care of yourselves
I love you, may the virgin protect you
Hello? Hello?
Why you didn’t pick up? Didn’t you hear it ring?
Yeah whatever, I didn’t hear it, I didn’t catch it
So when you’re going to stop starting your day
with that crap in your hand?
Damn it I awoke early this morning
I told you to make some coffee, you didn’t
I drank the old cold coffee and it’s all residue
so what’s this? Is candles supposed to get rid of the smoke?
Oh Virgin Mary
I’ll get it I’ll get
just make breakfast and take those stuff on table with you
Come on man pack it! Are you stupid?
What if she sees you?
Our great director, why you are freaked out?
Why did you come to me?
9:30 big ben, by God big ben!
9:30 Shit! By evening, not now!
I brought you a special collection
I don’t want to see anything now,pack them, later ok?
I want it custom made okay? I don’t want it like those.
Who was at the door?
Nobody, just the grocery shop kid, He brought some stuff
What stuff?
Stuff, stuff! Not for your or to the home
they’re for me, here you go
Oh Virgin
Here goes another one, be my guest at the prayer
Wouldn’t it be for the better if “Jabber” was here
got married here, got born here, and worked here?
As if I was the one who made him travel
It’s okay, it’s for the better
what’s he’s going to do here in this country?
Playing music for some stripper in some night club?
What you are saying is not true mister!
“Jabber” plays at the opera house in Umayyad square
also, how did you fit a stripper with cello playing?
Ok, ok, it’s okay, fine
It’s true “Jabber” is the one who wanted to travel
and didn’t want to stay here
but he wanted us to go with him
I told you to go after him,go after him
and go after him and you wouldn’t,what do you want me to do?
what do you want me to do? You don’t want to, so don’t!
And by the way I never intended to pick up the phone
when he calls, yes, because I know what’s he’s going to say
“what’s left for you in this country?
Sell everything and come here
and if you couldn’t go to the church, our father would help you”
fuck this life and everything in it
suppose I goddamn and went to him over there
how much time do you think I need to re-know myself over there?
How much? How much time to know who I am?
As if you know who you are here, tell me
He’s our only child, our only child!
So what?! What the big deal?
It’s you who wouldn’t…I’m done talking, I’m done
Where’s the...whatever, the Makdoos?
We’re out, buy some.
Where’s the Jar?
Hand it here.
OH VIRGIN!
Everyone who criticized me
even before I talked to them I loved them
but they never delivered their love
I don’t know why
and then I was gone
never knowing if they loved me or not.
In addition to dirt we have to be smothered by your cigarette smoke
aaah, what can I say? I’ll just shut up.
Pull your tongue down your throat and leave me be for a while! aaah, what can I say? I’ll just shut up.
Pull your tongue down your throat and leave me be for a while!
Keep to your rusty glories, they got us here
Under your protection, we take refuge, Mary
do not return our students when we invite you
Hello father, hello and welcome
Greetings, Greetings.
Pardon me, I couldn’t make it to the funeral at church last time
you know how it is
Don’t worry about it
Just tell her, in past month
month and a half how many funerals I attended at the church
A lot
Father, wouldn’t jasmine scent fill the entire
world if every missionary and everyone who traveled out of Damascus
took a jasmine sapling with them, back in the times of St. Paul?
Dear God, you and your ideas, take a seat father take a seat
I told him about this idea since our wreath
he was going to make it into a movie
A movie, cinema is culture father, cinema is culture
take her to the church father
make her sing in some funerary chorus, she’d fit right in
There you go
The thing is father, when I go to church to condole
I go in, give my condolences and get out
I don’t know who died and who’s dying
this is what’s happening to me
today’s funeral makes me forget who died yesterday
not only that, it’s old people who are at the funerals of young people
“Jabber” is calling!
Hello “Jabber”, son
Greetings father, have you arrived at our home?
Yes, yes I did, I’m at your house
and here’s your father and your mother “Audieh”
I don’t have a lot of units son
I won’t take long
God protect you, how are you dear?
Excellent, how are you? How’s our great director?
Dad what’s that in your hand? I can’t see very clearly
Those are the keys to the junk room son
Son, this is the junk room key
but this isn’t for you or your mother
this is for my grandson “Ragheb” Understood?
We’re good son, we’re good
show me “Ragheb”
by the cross’s name
Come, come, and let me see.
My Dear!
Give it here!
God protect you, son
Son get him a cross and hang it by his neck
get a wooden one, don’t get golden or diamond or whatnot
don’t spend too much, the blessing is all the same
a wooden cross, right father?
Yes, Yes.
Son, send me the birth video okay?
Mom? Dad?
I didn’t get to see the birth.
And I did?
Father tell her, it’s ok, tell “Audieh”
how many times I came to confess at the church
Why would I tell her?
So she knows! She thinks I can’t have children anymore
All of the books I’ve read about our lives and history
made me more confused and understand less
I didn’t understand anything in them
and they didn’t make me understand myself
and I couldn’t debate it, because it’s paper in the end
it made me more confused and more shy
when I ask myself “who am I? Who are we? All of us
What are you rustling about? What are you doing?
I made infant clothes for “Ragheb”
No!
And I made him this sock, it’s good for Canada’s weather
Say, “Audieh”…Come, get up, follow me, Come on!
Over here?! No!!
Yes, yes!
I can’t believe it!
Look though, everything must be back in its place
and you only have half an hour
You’re really careful about your history
Yes I’m very careful about my history,what else must I be careful about?
Big Ben!
What Big Ben you’re late!
Don’t make me late, don’t haggle with me
I have a coffin collection that needs to be shipped to other governorates
corpses are waiting for me in refrigerators!
All right, all right, come, come, come
We’re having “Abo Elias” and there’s business between us
we might go to other governorates
Every coffin has it’s wreath as a gift.
Why “Morris” this is expensive, really expensive.
It’s worth it baby, I don’t do installments
if you want installments go elsewhere.
Imagine if I lent someone who would go into this casket
how would I get my money back?
The only way is to get into another casket myself
to get my money back
and close up shop and let my kids starve
and get the financial dept to get my money back
and the next thing you know the financial dept
would get into a casket to get their money from me
Power’s is out
Shit on everything in my mind!
Here, look
My junk is not only contained in my junk room at my house
or, I’m not the only one with junk
a lot of people have junk, junk is among everyone’s mind
whose reading me and perhaps have more than me
or have it hidden, or it’s obscure to them
or intentionally avoiding it
all of us, what became of us
“Morris” Stop agonizing me and yourself
Enough, I don’t want it any of it, I want it custom made
Custom made? And what if it’s done before you are?
What if you are done before it is?
Look at this one, how pretty, look
Ok fine, I don’t want to see anything
that’s it, that’s the one, the cheapest one, that’s it
By god you have a good taste!
This one in particular is spacious and comfy
and has spring to make it larger or smaller as you like
but it’s walnut
Walnut, fine walnut shit on walnut, and on oak
and on everything. Get over with it already!
Want some candles or do you like better in the dark?
We have shit, we have candles
Okay, Okay enough.
What’s the matter with you?
Why don’t you use the sponge inside my skull as well?!
Indeed, your brain needs a good harsh scrubbing not a sponge
Yeah, yeah okay, now water, WATER!
What if I just left you now and went outside?
Yeah okay, fine, leave I’ll shower myself
I’ve got two hands and two feet
Aha, and you’re going to reach your back ?
What’s wrong with my back, my back is clean, just leave me.
And what about the people
who are talking about you behind your back?
And so, I was awoken to this world and found myself
in a life and society where I must I accept all of it’s flaws
and mistakes and troubles
and not discuss anything out loud
because there’s no solution to anything
You know, “Audieh”? I’ve been wondering
for a couple of days now…what if
after all those years, what if we made a kid?
What’s going to happen?
Oh Virgin
See I’m ready and able..don’t be upset
What is this “Labaneh”? this isn’t from “Abo Elias”
Why don’t you write some film and work on it
and get off my back?!
You’re grumpy day and night and always mean and insulting
to me and yourself and everyone around you!!
All right, okay, it’s from “Abo Elias”, it’s right, I’m mistaken.
The awards I won, some of them I didn’t make public
because I felt I wasn’t qualified, But now I can say
yes, some of them I don’t deserve
because others were far more qualified and better suited
Master “Morris”
I didn’t except you would come
This one looks good
No, not this one, this one over here.
This one?
The opportunities that made me know my true value
were few, but I wasn’t delusional
I didn’t get fooled with the next opportunities that came
for considerations you might know
if you did know, you must know them later, think about it
Wouldn’t it be for the better if you cover me while I’m like this?
The size fits, and the tie, shirt and belt
All right I’ll pack them then.
Yes
Look, look at this dress
I know how to talk like they talk in the church and even more
that is choking me, by God, ever since I was little
they took me to you Mother of Light
to the church to be baptized
then they started picking on me because of my absences
then I grew up and became a man
now I don’t know who’s picking on me
or is it me that’s picking on me, I don’t know
I have so much to say, I don’t know what I don’t know
I don’t know how to say it,I don’t know should I hold it
I don’t know what to say
perhaps my entire lifetime is picking on me, I don’t know
I don’t want anything from you, Mother of Light
Our father who art in heaven
“Abo Jabber” “Um Jabber” hello
I want to tell you that I have the nationality now
and next month I’ll catch mother’s day in Syria!
What are you saying?
We will go to Syria if by God’s will.
It’s impossible “Jabber”!
What you are thinking about won’t happen!
“Ragheb Jr.” will stay here
and will never leave Canada to the unknown
Come here “Irina”
Holy is God, holy and strong
holy he is the one that doesn’t die, have mercy on us.
Blessed our God, every time, now and every Time
and for eternity
Amen
Have mercy on us Lord, in your vast mercy we beg you
and may you respond and spare us
Mercy God, mercy God, Mercy
Let her mention be eternal, let her mention be eternal
With his prayers in between the saints
oh God Jesus Christ our lord, have mercy on us
Amen
“Ragheb” Son! Come dear, don’t run in the church, come!
The funeral is over, we must proceed to the burial
we’ll wait for you outside for a while
I’m sorry, I know I’m calling in late, but what can I do
I missed you
the problem is, in here in this country
it’s unlike over at your country
there’s vaccines and they overlap
so they wouldn’t let us take “Ragheb” out of the country
before he’s vaccinated, so I must cancel the travel plan
I mean we’re not cancelling it
we’re just going to postpone it
so this means I won’t be able to make it by mother’s day
please forgive me “Um Jabber” I know you have a big heart
and if I’m next to you or not you are the crown of my head
and my dear mom, happy mother’s day and may God protect you all
and another dreams and migrate from itself
another piece dreams and sleeps without worry
and another dreams and dies alone